Akita Japan - 1 year, 9 months
When, Where and How did you meet your BF/GF/Wife/Husband?
Grace: We met during his study abroad at my university in America. He ended up living just down the hall from me, rooming with a guy I was on a school committee with, so I was in and out of his room a couple times each week.
What was your first impression of your partner?
Grace: I’d heard a bit about him before I had met him; his nickname was “Muscles” because he was a workout fanatic. That, of course, piqued my interest, since I’m a huge fan of those caramelized abs that you see in movies.
In my dorm we had co-ed bathrooms and showers. Ryosuke and I had been friends for a couple weeks before I saw him coming out of the shower one day with just a towel on. My first thought was “Wow, are those real??”
He always says his first impression of me was that I was bossy, sexy, and for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why I was still single (I was just getting out of a bad relationship).
When did you first know that you love your partner?
Grace: It’s funny, because I have no idea. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always kind of been in love with Ryosuke. Since he was my friend’s roommate and an exchange student, only in America for a year, I kind of assumed he was “off limits.” But after a couple months I started going to the gym with him a couple times a week (even though I hate working out passionately) - that’s when I knew 100% I was in love with him.
He knew he had fallen in love with me when he took a trip to New York with another one of the Japanese exchange students. They were walking around and he saw a building with the words “Grace” written on it. He realized the first thing he wanted to do when he got back to our college was show me a picture of the building and see my face lite up, so he kind of thought “Wow, I really love Grace…”
Have you tried the cuisine from your partners culture? If yes, which is your favourite dish and why?
Grace: Ryosuke LOVES Tex-mex (especially tacos).
I love Takoyaki (fried octopus inside a ball of batter), tsukemono (pickled vegetables), sushi, and gyoza (fried dumplings) the most, but I really do love all Japanese food.
What type music or favorite artist do you and your partner enjoy or can’t beleive he/she listen’s to?
Grace: Maroon 5 is our favorite band. It was playing during our first kiss.
What responses have your friends/family had to your relationship with your partner?
They’re all for it.
Grace: My parents have been nothing but supportive.
Surprisingly enough, his parents have also been very supportive. In Japan, women do most of the domestic work… but in our relationship we split it 50-50(ish). Ryosuke does most of the laundry, cleaning, and cooking, though. I’ve read lots of horror stories where the mother-in-law will try to train the foreign wife to be a “good Japanese wife.” So far that hasn’t happened. In fact, his mother has been taking English lessons so she can speak to me better.
What stereotype(s) have you found to be TRUE and/or FALSE with your partner?
Grace:
FALSE: Asians always study. Asian people make good grades (this goes hand-in-hand with the last one). Japanese people are very polite (I love how “rude” by Japanese standards Ryosuke is). Japanese people eat whale all the time (the first time Ryosuke ate whale was when he took me to a whale restaurant - where 90% of the clients were foreigners).
TRUE: Japanese people eat rice with every meal (Ryosuke loves his rice).
What advice would you have for someone who is hesitant but would like to start an IR relationship?
Grace: Keep your mind open and be flexible. I’ve put up with some really weird stuff from Ryosuke.
But I think being in a IR relationship is rewarding; you are given a chance to examine your own culture and beliefs from another person’s eyes.
What is best advice you have ever received from your BF/GF/Wife/Husband?
Grace: Stop spending so much time on the internet or watching tv.
Before Ryosuke met me, he didn’t have a Facebook. He created one so he could be “American,” but will only check it about once a day. It’s the same with video games, movies, or tv.
He would prefer to go hiking to watching tv; cooking to playing video games. He’s really good with not wasting time looking at funny pictures of cats online. Since I’ve started dating him, I’ve watched a lot less trashy TLC shows and Disney movie re-runs for the 100th time.
Grace keeps a full-time blog documenting her time in Japan, her interracial relationship, and the funny things that come from living abroad. I especially like the article she wrote called “Things my Japanese Boyfriend and I Culturally Disagree About” plus so much more. Check out her blog at “www.howibecametexan.com”
